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Jokes

Discussion in 'Fun Area' started by Black Widow, Jan 7, 2014.

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  1. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    Hello guys, give me the best jokes you got i want some laughs no matter how lame or stupid they may be. But do NOT post something that would be deemed inappropriate or offensive to others. And have fun and try to be creative too!
     
    Black Widow, Jan 7, 2014
    #1
    Blue Phantom and xXxTnTxXx like this.
  2. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    That moment, I was swimming and tried to get really deep in the pool. I needed to breath so I swam upwards and GUESS WHAT, my head got stuck in between old granny's legs. I kept hitting her legs to let her notice that someone is stuck there, but she didn't notice....I somehow escaped, but her legs were tightly grabbing my neck....

    THIS IS NOT FICTION, IT'S TRUE!!
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 7, 2014
    #2
    xXxTnTxXx and Batgirl like this.
  3. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    Words create movies in peoples heads this is something i wish i did not read ._. now i have it stuck in my head .-..
     
    Black Widow, Jan 7, 2014
    #3
    xXxTnTxXx, Kendall&Grace and Batgirl like this.
  4. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    What, lol isn't it funny? Sawrry...
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 7, 2014
    #4
  5. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    It is! it sorta made me chuckle once i kept thinking of it lol.
     
    Black Widow, Jan 7, 2014
    #5
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  6. Dryykon

    Dryykon Second Lieutenant (15) Member

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    When my hands are cold I put them next to my computer fan to warm them up.
     
    Dryykon, Jan 7, 2014
    #6
    Tank 1337 and xXxTnTxXx like this.
  7. TankFrank

    TankFrank Command Sergeant Major (13) Former Moderator

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    There are two tomatoes. At a certain moment one start saying: "hey!", and the other yells: "OMG a tomato is SPEAKING!"

    :D:oops::p
     
    TankFrank, Jan 7, 2014
    #7
  8. Batgirl

    Batgirl Lieutenant Colonel (19) Member

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    there were 2 bananas they were in a practice ring they practice for hours n hours until the next day one of the banana said "O my smurf did i punch u so hard u got black spots all over u"
     
    Batgirl, Jan 7, 2014
    #8
  9. wazooman

    wazooman Brigadier General (21) Member

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    Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle, he was so ugly, that everyone died. The End.
     
    wazooman, Jan 7, 2014
    #9
    Owl_Spirit27, xXxTnTxXx, Dryykon and 3 others like this.
  10. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    If you watch an Apple store get robbed... are you an iWitness?

    Did you just fall from heaven? Because your face is pretty messed up.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2014
    Black Widow, Jan 7, 2014
    #10
    xXxTnTxXx, Dryykon, Batgirl and 4 others like this.
  11. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    That moment.

    When someone deletes all his posts to make you look like you triple posted...
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 12, 2014
    #11
  12. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird? Chirpies! Don't worry though, it's tweetable.
     
    Black Widow, Jan 12, 2014
    #12
    cloaca likes this.
  13. wazooman

    wazooman Brigadier General (21) Member

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    XD, that's a new one on me.
     
    wazooman, Jan 12, 2014
    #13
  14. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    Shit, my head just got stuck in between the toilet legs!
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 12, 2014
    #14
  15. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    I don't get older. I level up.
     
    Black Widow, Jan 12, 2014
    #15
    serbia98 likes this.
  16. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    I don't have a dirty mind...
    I have a sexy imagination...


    ~RumMumMario
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 12, 2014
    #16
  17. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    That's nice honey - Your mom's version of 'cool story bro.'
     
    Black Widow, Jan 12, 2014
    #17
  18. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    Pfft
    You just noticed?
    [​IMG]​
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 12, 2014
    #18
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  19. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    If a bunch of midgets did the wave, would it be called a ripple?
     
    Black Widow, Jan 12, 2014
    #19
  20. TheOnlyGod

    TheOnlyGod Major (18) Former Moderator

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    ...two guys walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.
     
    TheOnlyGod, Jan 12, 2014
    #20
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  21. wazooman

    wazooman Brigadier General (21) Member

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    It didn't.

    Your mind has been blown.
     
    wazooman, Jan 12, 2014
    #21
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  22. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    I saw that my ironing board cover was all wrinkled. I laughed at the irony.
     
    Black Widow, Jan 13, 2014
    #22
    LethalMajestic likes this.
  23. RumMumMario

    RumMumMario Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    I know this joke, it never made me laugh ._.

    Why did chicken cross the road on the left?
    Because there was KFC on the right.

    ._.
     
    RumMumMario, Jan 13, 2014
    #23
  24. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    I entered 10 puns in a contest to see which one would win, but unfortunately no pun in ten did.
     
    Black Widow, Jan 13, 2014
    #24
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  25. wazooman

    wazooman Brigadier General (21) Member

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    Where do you get these kind of jokes? All I can seem to find are dirty jokes... e_e
     
    wazooman, Jan 13, 2014
    #25
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