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Jokes

Discussion in 'Fun Area' started by Black Widow, Jan 7, 2014.

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  1. lopy

    lopy Corporal (5) Member

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    You know any jokes about sodium and bromine? NA BRA!
     
    lopy, Jan 28, 2014
    #101
  2. xXxTnTxXx

    xXxTnTxXx Brigadier General (21) Member

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    If this hasn't been taken yet...

    Back then when there weren't any iPhones, there were iStones.

    Cavemen invented them back then with their wooden baseball bat thingies.
     
    xXxTnTxXx, Jan 28, 2014
    #102
  3. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    What type of monster really loves dance music? The boogieman.
     
    Black Widow, Feb 1, 2014
    #103
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  4. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    - How To Surprise a Blind Person -

    Leave the plunger in the toilet.​
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 1, 2014
    #104
  5. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    Ghost hunters: "Can you communicate with us?" *Door creeks* Ghost hunters: "Oh, so your name is William?"
     
    Black Widow, Feb 2, 2014
    #105
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  6. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    - How To Revive a Dead Person -

    1) Slap him 100 times.
    2) Needle his eyes.
    3) Burn the n*p*les.
    4) Perform a brain transplant.
    5) Yell at him "WAKE UP YOU LITTLE WHORE"
    6) Give him a cup of water. (Make sure it's from the toilet)
    7) Call **********.
    8) Use the plate shard and shave him, then make him eat it.
    9) Perform a voodoo magic, thing.
    10) Kick his butt.

    *If these don't work, please contact RumMumMario's Help Center at 123-456-7890*    ​
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 2, 2014
    #106
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  7. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    1) Buy a ship. 2) Name it relation. 3) Sit in it. Congratulations, you're in a relationship.
     
    Black Widow, Feb 2, 2014
    #107
    ComplexOri, xXxTnTxXx, Arcturus and 1 other person like this.
  8. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 2, 2014
    #108
  9. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    Never trust atoms, they make up everything
     
    Black Widow, Feb 2, 2014
    #109
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  10. DinomanIV

    DinomanIV Command Sergeant Major (13) Member

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    Since when do you need to censor nipples and uncensor who*e? Anyways...

    What does a Chinese bear use to cook his food in? A pan, duh!

    Stan says you are a cuh - cuh - cuhn - c*nt - c*nt - c*nt - continuous source of inspiration.

    Throwing acid is wrong, in some peoples eyes.
     
    DinomanIV, Feb 2, 2014
    #110
  11. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    Whore isn't a profane word, so is nipple. I used the profanity because I think it's a nasty word >_>

    SOMEONE: EAT ME.
    ME: ok, how'd you like to be eaten.
    SOMEONE: slowly
    ME: ok for how long
    SOMEONE: 3 minutes
    ME: ok
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 2, 2014
    #111
  12. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    Nurse: "Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room."
    Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him."

    genius
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 2, 2014
    #112
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  13. wazooman

    wazooman Brigadier General (21) Member

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    Already said dude. .-.
     
    wazooman, Feb 2, 2014
    #113
  14. xXxTnTxXx

    xXxTnTxXx Brigadier General (21) Member

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    That was... perfectly planned...
     
    xXxTnTxXx, Feb 2, 2014
    #114
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  15. Mark103

    Mark103 Sergeant First Class (9) Member

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    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
     
    Mark103, Feb 2, 2014
    #115
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  16. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    I named my hard drive 'dat ass' so once a month my computer asks me if I want to "back dat ass up."
     
    Black Widow, Feb 3, 2014
    #116
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  17. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 3, 2014
    #117
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  18. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psychopath.
     
    Black Widow, Feb 3, 2014
    #118
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  19. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    BLACKED.com, Feb 3, 2014
    #119
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  20. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    Black Widow, Feb 3, 2014
    #120
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  21. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    Really, I'm laughing so hard right now I can barely type.
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 3, 2014
    #121
  22. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters.
     
    Black Widow, Feb 3, 2014
    #122
  23. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    MARIO: Doc...I really need some help...
    DOCTOR: What is it Mario? *Takes notes*
    MARIO: I eat mushrooms, flowers, and a whole bunch of stuff but I can't get any taller than Luigi... I can only grow temporary but when I get hit by something I shrink again..
    DOCTOR: Hmm, that's quite obnoxious..Where do you usually get the mushrooms?
    MARIO: Luigi always shares mushrooms with me, he's very nice, I barely get any on my own.
    DOCTOR: *Calls luigi* Oh hey, I was examining Mario for not getting tall and he said he gets mushrooms from you, where do you get them?
    LUIGI: http://www.fanara.eu/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/dsc00286.jpg psst, you can see the toilet on the right side >_>
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 3, 2014
    #123
  24. Black Widow

    Black Widow Forum Administrator Administrator

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    I am in the army and my sergeant said to me, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning!"

    To which I replied, "Oh, thank you very much, sir!"
     
    Black Widow, Feb 3, 2014
    #124
  25. BLACKED.com

    BLACKED.com Lieutenant General (23) Member

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    daddie is the worst nickname of a father you could name.
     
    BLACKED.com, Feb 3, 2014
    #125
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